What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
