wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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