How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
