Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Small penises have feelings too.
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
