if you like me you must not know who I am
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize