I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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