someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize