So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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