My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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