he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
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Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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