she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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