it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
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Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
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The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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