Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Randomize
