Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Randomize
