dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
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