so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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