And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
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