I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
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