he puts the penis in happiness.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
