Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I wish there were birth control emojis
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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