I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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