Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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