Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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