And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Randomize
