in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
21 Awkward Ways People Found Out Their Partner Was Into Outrageous Sex Acts
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.