I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
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he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
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I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination