nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too