is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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