You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Guys Hate When Girls Do These 29 Cringeworthy Things
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
25 Men Confess The Moment They Knew They Wanted To Marry Their Wife
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant