Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
