ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Randomize
