Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
