you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
