he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?