So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
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This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
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My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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