I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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