Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
