Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
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