i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
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