I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
