do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Randomize
