Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
