i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Randomize
