I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Randomize
