Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
i think i have herpe
just one?
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
