Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
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He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize