He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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