i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
