I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
