piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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