So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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