Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I supernannyed him into submission
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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