All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
