You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
it was like eating out sand paper
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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