im drinking this country out of the recession.
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
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