so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
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