I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Randomize
