so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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